There are so many things I dont know how to say|
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|Tuesday, October 30th, 2007|
|I didn't miss live journal
So I'm going to maybe start to consider thinking about blogging again... perhaps Current Mood: quiescent
after lots of paperwork and a nerve-wracking interview I got into AmeriCorps NCCC. February I go to Denver CO. The scariest part is that I still don't know what kind of work I'll be doing. I won't find out what my first project will be, until I get there. I'm excited though. It's good to finally have a direction. When I get done with AmeriCorps they give me $5,000 to spend on further education. I'll take the GREs and go to grad school. Or maybe go back to college to study physics.
For now I'm working at the Halloween store in Kingston. It's amazing! I play with the toys and dress up in costumes. I've been a cowboy, wolf man, a pirate, a penguin and a giant banana. I get a 25% discount and the people I work with are really fun. It's the perfect job.
Two of the guys I work with want to start a band. They want me to play guitar for them. I'm nervous though because I haven't practiced in months. I told them that I'm no good. They don't seem to care. I think it's going to be a rock/metal band. They seem like really crazy guys. They talk about doing heroin and having gay sex. I think they're joking... but it's hard to tell. Anyway I'm going to give it a try. It could be really fun.
Yesterday I gave blood. I was the last person there so they gave me all the leftover snacks and cookies. ^_^
One thing I really like about being done with college is that I have lots of time for pleasure reading. I don't have to worry about getting through text books and memorizing scripts. I've finished like 8 Terry Pratchet books. I've nearly finished all of Neil Gaiman's books. I'm halfway through catch 22. And I even have time to read the news! It is fantastic.
Dumbledore is gay, Colbert is running for president, and a federal appeals court says anti-porn law violates the first amendment. Fantastic.
Ryan and I have been helping a friend of ours, Sue Rosenberg, put together a little movie. She went to Jena Louisiana to participate in the demonstrations. She brought her video camera and got some good footage. Ryan and I cut it together and added music. She gave a talk at the Kingston high school about her experience and what she learned.
|Wednesday, March 8th, 2006|
|don't be so lugubrious!
I got the role of Don in Don Juan in Chicago. In the play Don Juan quotes Keats a lot. It's gotten me reading poetry again. Especially Johnny Keats. Then Keats inspired me to start writing again. So after a very long hiatus here is another one of my shitty poems. It's about the time in between summer romances.
As the nightingale's fair inspiration
Gleans all of nature's admiration,
So too, you fill my soul with song
To keep me warm the summer long.
As crisp sun and cool breeze mingle
As on trees the rouged leaves linger,
So too do we before you leave.
And the earth turns cold in its grief.
As Persephone goes to lay with shadows
In the depth of earthen bowels,
So too my heart in darkness wallows
Wishing it could somehow follow.
As snow floats down to muffle sound
And shines like Lethe above the ground,
So too my senses have been frozen
And been made numb by distractions.
Summer comes just once a year
But that's enough so shed no tears,
(instead) look forward to a day soon when
The changing winds will mix again.
Tell me what you think. I love criticism more than fruitless praise. Current Mood: sleepy
|Saturday, November 12th, 2005|
|can a submarine swim?
So there's this guy. He's got a wiry build and deep blue eyes. He's a great chess player. The best I know in fact. He rarely looses. I think he's really intelligent. He can even beat the grand master chess champions sometimes! But there are people who say that he isn't truly intelligent. They say he's not intelligent because he isn't creative. He will never be able to paint a masterpiece or compose a symphony. Some say he isn't truly intelligent because he is so emotionless. Move a piece, hit the clock, move a piece hit the clock with out any excitement or frustration or anger. But like I said I disagree. I think he is intelligent. If a computer was that good at chess we would say it was intelligent....or.... wait no... If a person were that good at chess we would say he was intelligent... wait .... I dunno.. I'm confused and it's late. I'm going to bed.
"Alan Turing held that computers would in time be programmed to acquire abilities rivaling human intelligence.
As part of his argument Turing put forward the idea of an 'imitation game', in which a human being and a computer would be interrogated under conditions where the interrogator would not know which was which, the communication being entirely by textual messages. Turing argued that if the interrogator could not distinguish them by questioning, then it would be unreasonable not to call the computer intelligent.
Turing's 'imitation game' is now usually called 'the Turing test' for intelligence. " http://www.turing.org.uk/turing/scrapbook/test.htmlhttp://www.chatterboxchallenge.com/http://chat.jabberwacky.com/ Current Mood: pooped
|Monday, November 7th, 2005|
|Saturday, September 10th, 2005|
My only major news is this; I got the lead role in the main stage. I'm nervous and excited of course. But honestly I think it would have made me happier to see my friends names on the cast list instead of mine. They wanted it lots more than I did. It would have made them wonderfully happy. For me on the other hand it means no radio show, less D&D and I probably won't have time for capoera or yoga. I was speechless when I heard. I thought if I even got a part it would be the doctor or Bobby, certainly not the lead. I just hope it all works out. I hope people get other roles and I hope we still all hang out together and act silly.
|Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005|
|Monday, August 22nd, 2005|
|I am haunted by the cliché rituals and symbolism
I went to my cousins wedding last night. It was less fun than I had hoped. When I go to these events I can feel the future pressing on me like an airbag in a car wreak. It was on the hills of a hazy summer vineyard. To the bride and groom it seemed as natural and inevitable as death. Current Mood: Inadequate
|Saturday, July 16th, 2005|
|Friday, July 1st, 2005|
|I would choose grapefruits
Back when the internet boom was coming to an end and tech valley was falling apart there was a programmer living in California. He was working for one of those website companies with like 20 employees and a million dollars worth of investment. He had an ergonomically designed computer, espresso machine and an electric massage chair, all paid for by the company. He spent his days and nights doing what he loved, writing computer programs. When shit hit the fan and the company started loosing money he did some illegal stuff to try to rescue it. He cooked the books and bribed people. Despite his efforts the company collapsed and he was left with nothing but his car and clothes and he knew that the police would soon come after him for his crimes. He was sad because he would never write another computer program again. But there was something else he loved almost as much as writing code. He loved grapes! So he drove his car into Napa Valley in northern California. He slept in libraries and parks during the day and at night hid in the vineyards. He lived on grapes. He ate fresh pinot gris, Aligote and chardonnay. He gorges himself on juicy Merlot grapes and delicious Zinfandel grapes. He had red grapes and white grapes. He had sour grapes and sweet grapes. It was wonderful! The police eventually found him but when they did he was already dead. All the pesticide from the grapes had slowly killed him.
What is the moral of the story? Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, June 18th, 2005|
I've been brousing old journal entries and feeling nostalgic and laughing at how silly I used to be.
I took this quiz about 2 years ago. It makes me very glad that my inner child has not aged a bit!
My inner child is ten years old!
The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
A real journal post is on it's way. I have lots of wonderful news!
Current Mood: happy
|Monday, June 13th, 2005|
|"We know the damn silly thing we just did" ~Fahrenheit 451
wow... wow... Jack Milgram was arrested. He was my best friend in grade school. wow... It was so long ago I don't even remember him that well. He was smart and he liked to play game. He was the person who taught me how to play magic. And he gave me a bunch of his cards. He liked transformers too. I was devastated when he moved to Bearsvile with his mom. A couple years ago I ran into him at a math team competition. He told me he was doing well and he was an honors student. We never really talked at all before or after that. Now he is being charged with manslaughter and arson.
Apparently he decided to burn a copy of the bible and a copy of Fahrenheit 451 at 3:00 am. The fire got out of control and burnt down his house. It killed his mom and his younger brother. It wasn't intentional. The paper said he tried to save his mom but the fire spread too quickly. His picture was on the front page. He looked scared and sad and confused. (...Maybe I'm just projecting my emotions) I didn't know what to think. I feel so sorry for him.
I can't help but wonder how he might have turned out differently if I was still his friends...or wonder if I might have turned out differently if he was mine. Current Mood: sad scared confused sorry
|Saturday, June 4th, 2005|
|things that are blue: fat guy on a motorcycle, emo shopping cart, blimp
If I did a real update I would just complain about work so I'm going to do these quizes instead. They will make me happy. ^_^
Hot! I'm totally a ninja!
You scored 10 Honor, 5 Justice, 6 Adventure, and 2 Individuality!
|You are a soldier of the night. You rely on no more than your cunning and your repuation to strike fear in the hearts of lord and peasant alike. You've a sense of honor, but one that comes from within, not imposed from outside.|
Black clothes and shuriken for you. You're gonna do just fine.
|My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
||You scored higher than 84% on Ninjinuity|
||You scored higher than 53% on Knightlyness|
||You scored higher than 37% on Cowboiosity|
||You scored higher than 3% on Piratical Bent|
list your current six favorite songs, then pick six other people that have to do
Bright Eyes - take it easy (the more I listen to this cd the more I like it. It's almost as good as I'm wide awake it's morning)
Bright Eyes - first day of my life (oh my god. this song is beautiful.)
the good life - the album of the year (very sad song about the sad story of a very sad man)
interpol - slow hands (The first time I heard this song I hated it. Now I love it. It is one of those songs)
MXPX - chick magnet (wow! old school mxpx! lots of fun! I want to hear their new albulm. If you have it share it with me please.)
the academy is - season (very cool indie. listen to this band)
I think most of my friends have either already done this already or never update anyway but...
And a meme:
1. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
2. Go to images.google.com and search for that word.
3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).
4. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same. Current Mood: happy
|Thursday, June 2nd, 2005|
|Disclaimer: I'm no bio-chemist
Swiss and American researchers have recently discovered that the hormone, Oxytocin
, makes people more trusting. They isolated it and put it in a navel spray. They did some tests and now think that people with autism or social phobias might be helped by having more oxytocin. It also seems to lower blood pressure. They are doing more research on other possible health benefits and effects of the hormone. This is all very interesting to me. Although I'm kind of disappointed that they are making a nasal spray out of it. You can get it naturally by cuddling, loving and having sex. It would have been way cool if they told people to cuddle more and have more sex... and love. Current Mood: weird...
So at work there is this adorable old lady who comes in every morning and buys a coffee. She pays and starts to walk away with it when she sees the doghnuts and remembers how much she loves jelly dohnuts. If she finds one she gets wonderfuly excited and tells me how much she loves jelly dohnuts. If she doesn't find one she gets a little sad. Today I made sure to save her one. I hid it under the muffins and she was delighted when she found it. She is like 80 years old and still full of energy. We call her the jelly dohnut lady.
I hate it when people hand me money wet from sweat. It is gross.
So hopefully there will be lots of stuff going on this summer.
There will of course be more D&D. The game is going very well I think. Tony and Andrew just figured out who the main villian is and now have to find a way to defeat him. very exciting!
I've been wanting to go to a cuddleparty
for a while. If I can get an RSVP I'm going to go this summer.
I plan on going camping. I would like to go with a whole group of friends but so far I've only asked Andrew and Tony. Andrew said he would like to. Tony only wants to go if there will be elligable bacholorets. I want to do that soon, maybe June 16th.
Andrew and I want to have some kind of senior class play cast reunion party. That would be very cool I think. It would be hard to organize though. Everyone is off doing their own thing now. school or work or vacations. And everyone seems out of touch. We're going to try though. I'm thinking maybe July 2nd or 3rd but I don't know yet.
I think I want to go see Warped Tour Aug 13. Nothing exciting is going to be at the chance.
I want to do some volenteering. I think I want to be a big brother. I'm not sure though. I have to do more research. Is it something I can do for a summer? What happens when I have to go back to Plattsburgh? I'm not here very long.
I want to stay fit and get more flexible. Yoga would be fun. There are classes at fitness advantage but it's a lot of money and I'm not sure if I'll actually make it to all the classes.
Mom said she would get tickets for the family to go see Wicked. I hope she does.
There are lots of books I want to read. Harry Potter, Wheel of Time, To kill a mocking bird, Memoirs of a Geisha, Wicked.
I want to learn how to do a handstand. ...maybe a flip.
I want to see old friends and make new ones. Current Mood: happy and hopefull
|Monday, May 30th, 2005|
|living on the fringes of life...
I got a job at HITS on the Hudson. It's this big equestrian place. I serve food and work the cash register. So far I like it a lot better than wall mart. It's tiring but the people, in general, are very nice and the pay is good. Yesderday was my cousin's wedding. It was on the joursey shore so we drove down, ate lunch on the beach then got in our fancy clothes and went to the country club. There was tons of food and every one was dressed up. I had fun listening to the band and watching people dance. That was all nice but what really made the weekend good was the book and music I brought. I finished brave new world and then read The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It is an amazing book. I kept wishing I had something to write with because it is so full of quotable phrases. Every other line I wanted to quote in live journal becuase they described prefectly some situation or emotion and I felt like every one else who went to high school in the 90s could relate. I was just great. I still can't get enough of I'm Wide Awake It's morning. I've been listening to that all week.
This afternoon my dad and I went hiking. He showed me a bunch of wild flowers and told me their names. Painted trillion, spring beauties, star flowers, lily of the valley, golden thread.
I have lots of pictures and it seems like there was more I was going to say but right now I'm very tired and have to get up early tomorrow so maybe I'll post the pictures later. for now good night. Current Mood: grateful
|Friday, May 20th, 2005|
|every cowboy sings a sad, sad song
I went to see the doctor yesterday. He told me that I have tonsillitis and he gave me medicine. Hopefully I will finally feel better now. Illness has made me not want to go job searching. So, to the dismay of my parents I am still unemployed. Other than that things are going well. It is good to be home. It is good to hang out with Tony and with Andrew again. Andrew and I saw Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. We both thought it was very funny. Then we went to Tony’s house and just talked for a long time then we went to the diner where we talked some more and finally we drove out to some place in the middle of nowhere and, sitting on the hood of Andrew’s car, looked at the stars and talked some more. It was like 4am when I got home. I was very good to reconnect.
This is a real story. I heard it on BBC news.
On April 7th British police found a man wandering around on a little island in the southern part of England. He was dressed sharply in suite and tie and he was soaking wet as though he had just come out of the ocean. He wouldn’t say a word to anyone and he would shy away from anyone who came near him like he was afraid. He seemed like a trauma victim. The police picked him up and brought him in. He still wouldn’t say a word. The man had no identification and all the tags on his clothes were torn off. So they brought him to a mental hospital. At the hospital they asked him who he was in many languages but he still said nothing. He would not let anyone touch him and he was very nervous. They gave him a pencil and paper hoping that he would write down his name. Instead he drew a detailed picture of a grand piano. They were like “What does this mean?” “Do you want a piano?” Still the man wouldn’t say a word. They brought him down to the hospitals chapel and showed him their piano. Instantly he sat down and started playing classical music. He stayed there playing for several hours. His social worker Michael Camp said that he “comes alive” at the piano. National Missing Persons helpline has since gotten hundreds of calls from people claiming to know the man. However his identity is still a mystery. Current Mood: calm
|Wednesday, May 4th, 2005|
|cowboys and haggis!
My last entry was just livejournal syndrome. I was feeling great for like a month before then and not writing anything but as soon as I get a little sad I pour it into livejournal. In general life is great. I feel significantly less stressed out now that I finished all my papers, speeches and projects. I think I did well on all of them and that also makes me feel good. I'm still simultaneously ignoring this cold/sorethroat and hoping I will feel better. It's not working very well. Ignoring it is making it worse and it is getting harder to ignore. I've been trying to get as much rest as possible but it's the end of the semester and there is so much stuff going on. Tomorrow I'm going to karaoke with Niki. Saturday is the computer science picnic with the boys. Sunday Artemis and I are going to the spammies. I still have no job lined up for the summer. I'm kind of scared I'll end up working at walmart again. I really don't want to. I guess it's my fault for procrastinating though. umm... It's time me to study for my history final.
"So what is the movie about?"
"Well...there are two really screwed up people with screwed up lives and screwed up relationships...then they find eachother and have a perfect relationship together and their lives become perfect."
"how romantic." Current Mood: lethargic
|Saturday, April 30th, 2005|
|a wonderfully dreary day
It is the weekend of springfest. It is raining like hell. Everyone is wet. It seems like everyone is drunk. I had a dream last night that everyone was drunk and having sex and making out and going to parties. In my dream I looked out my window and into the windows of the city and saw couples lying in their beds naked together. I've been listening to I'm Wide Awake its Morning. The First Day of My Life is simultaneously the happiest and saddest love song I've ever heard. I have plenty of work I should be doing. I'm writing a history paper on John Backus. I went for a walk in the pouring rain. I passed a girl with dripping wet hair and her shirt was sticking to her body. I wished I had an umbrella to give to her but I was as soaked as she was so we walked by each other without saying anything and our eyes on the ground. The river was flooding over its banks. When I got back to my building and waiting for the elevator one of the drunken fraternity boys offered me a beer. I said "no thanks." He said "well fuck you then" and stumbled away. I called after him "Have a great day" and got on the elevator. I don't necessarily want to get drunk or hookup. I could use a good hug though. Current Mood: lonely
|Friday, April 15th, 2005|
|what a waste of time
Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people,
they probably need it the most" by
You try to look beyond apperance, try to give
people second chances and are probably very
kind. Understanding is your biggest personality
trait, and thoose you can see through should be
grateful. If they aren't already. You detest
narrow minded people, because they can't see
what's really there. Facades is not your thing
and you strive to always be who you really are. What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED brought to you by Quizilla
You are a What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures] brought to you by Quizilla
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.
Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Facial expression: Smile
You are sad because you are suppressed Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people brought to you by Quizilla
You are somewhere in-between Good and Dark side
geek. You have been known to game, spend too
much time on your computer, or feel moody after
watching Bladerunner. This is not bad, you are
probably just really involved with your own
world of thoughts or are shy. You might try to
expand your horizions. It won't make you less
of a geek, but it might give you new ideas and
social grace. how seriously geeky are you? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: tired